Being a solid citizen has its advantages.  A bunch of cops came walking through the office yesterday and I remained calm.  There were no drugs to be swallowed in haste, no felonies to be categorically denied.  The only stress I felt was the usual work stuff like deadlines about to lapse and a boss who thinks I’m a mental defective.  An unexpected visit by law enforcement was a welcome diversion.As one might imagine, this generated quite a buzz among us cubicle folk.  There had been some incidents of stolen laptops in the past and I was wondering if a thief had struck again.

According to that most reliable source of information, the office rumor mill, there was not only another theft but the culprit just got busted.  He was a new contract-to-hire guy in IT, no doubt high on meth.  There was video footage of him carrying goods out the door.  He was toast.

I didn’t know him.  A co-worker gave me a brief physical description and I still drew a blank.  Whoever he was, he made a very idiotic decision that’s going to put his life in the shitter, if it weren’t heading in that direction already.

I certainly didn’t envy the man, though I might have if  the arresting officers were all hot policewomen. I  wouldn’t stoop to thievery, mind you, but I might walk around with a dongle hanging out of the back of my pants in the hope one of them might snap on a rubber glove and give my body cavity a look see.