Things New and Old

When I bought my computer, I decided to splurge and buy a new monitor as well.  This could prove to be an unnecessary and foolish luxury. I did have five fully functional CRT monitors on the floor of my office.  I am also on the fast track to unemployment.  My current contract is over in a month.  I may secure another job between now and then.  Then again, I may not.

In my defense, there are reasons to get rid of your old CRT’s.  They don’t have anywhere near the resolution of the new flat screens.  I remember their time being up as far back as 2004. I had a short gig doing desktop upgrades at the offices of the California State Bar in downtown San Francisco.  Part of this was replacing CRT monitors with new flat screens.  The old equipment was taken to a floor that was still under construction.  When I saw row after row of CRT’s with their screens all facing me, my brain should have thought, “Gee, I have a bunch of these at home.  Maybe I should get rid of some of them.”

Instead, I thought that they kind of looked like space helmets and addressed them thusly: “Greetings troopers.  I am Commander Zork.  Today you will lay waste to the agrarian society on the planet below so that I may rebuild their world with gladiator arenas, fast-food restaurants, and whorehouses.”

As a result, my own collections of old monitors spent the next six and a half years gathering dust on my floor.

These monitors were not only dinosaurs.  They were also bulky, weighed a ton, and were full of toxins.  You can’t just throw the things away.  The innards of these monitors can find their way into the ground water, resulting in a skyrocketing cancer rate and birth defects that would make a sideshow barker blush.

Fortunately, there are other ways disposing of these things.  You can pay an electronics-recycling service to take them off your hands.  Goodwill still accepts them as donations as well.  At least I think they do.  I dumped four of my five CRT’s (all that would fit in my friend’s car) in the donation bin just inside the front door.  No one seemed to mind, though I’m not sure anyone noticed me.  I didn’t stick around to find out.  It’s amazing what kinds of things are allowable for those who are willing to make strategic assumptions and haul ass.’

So four down, one to go, and that will go the next time my friend volunteers to make a Goodwill run (note to self: remember to peel the “ASS PHLEGM” sticker off the front of it first).  If there’s room, I’ll also get rid of a couple of old computers, minus their hard drives.  I am too lazy to format the things and I doubt they want my porn.

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