How I Spent Inauguration Night

People around these parts are pretty happy that Obama is now president.  I haven’t seen folks this fired up since…well…since ever.  I wasn’t born yet when Kennedy was inaugurated.  As for Bill Clinton in 1992, I think we all would have liked to feel wonderful about him, but there was something about the guy that made you want to take a shower after he shook your hand.

Believe it or not, I did not attend the festivities at in Argus.  Instead, I schlepped across the bay for my friend Kim’s party in Oakland.

Overall, it was a fun evening.  Kim’s friend’s are intelligent people and nice folks overall.  There was plenty of food and drink and I managed to avoid making a complete ass of myself by staying away from hard liquor and sticking to beer.

My choice of beverage turned out to be a wise move indeed.  An ex-girlfriend in attendance made some comment about how I had passed out in the fetal position in the walkway of her house at a party some years ago.  That particular story always reminds me of why I think of myself as damaged and just not good enough for normal human interaction.

I’m not sure why this is.  I’ve done far worse.  Maybe her habit of bringing up that night lends my indiscretion importance it wouldn’t ordinarily have.

With just few beers in my system, I was content  to turn away from her and engage others in conversation topics with a heightened level of crassness.  This is known as the “nothing bothers me, I joke about fontanel fucking” defense and it has served me well over the years.

If whiskey were introduced into the equation, it could have been much worse.  When I young, I might have engaged in some sort of alcoholic performance art like carving “Blow Me” into my forearm with a steak knife or dropping my pants and taking a shit in the kitchen sink to show how much better I am than everybody else.  As an older and somewhat wiser man, I would probably say some things I genuinely regretted.

Of course, not letting inconsequential stuff get to me at all would have been the wise move but I’ll save that life lesson for another day.

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