A Bug’s Life

The office crime wave continues unabated.  Last week, it was stolen laptops.  Today, it’s unauthorized surveillance.

I received a company-wide email this morning from our VP of HR and Servility Enforcement.  She said that someone had planted an “electronic device” in an employee’s cubicle that violated that person’s privacy.  I was scarcely aware that anyone in human resources gave a rat’s butt about privacy rights.  I imagine they have a huge file of every profane email I’ve sent and every sordid website I’ve visited.  Maybe they just don’t like the competition.  In any event,  she was plenty ticked.  She said flat out that such activity would not be tolerated, lest anyone operate under the assumption that HR is made up of tolerant people.

She failed to specify what sort of electronic device it was.  At first, I thought it might have been an upskirt webcam  put under the desk of [name withheld because I’m a gentleman] but realized that not everyone shares my priorities.  It was more likely some sort of microphone-transmitter thingy picking up stultifyingly dull yet company-private conversations.

I wonder what malfeasance will be uncovered next.  Murder?  Arson?  Writing snarky things in a blog?  I’ll keep you posted.

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