Last year, I wanted to try something new for the holidays. I threw a Hanukkah party. Betty clued me in on some of the cultural details and I improvised the rest. Overall, the event was successful but I have no desire to repeat it. I wish to spend this December pleasantly inebriated and not having to organize anything.

If someone else decided to throw a Festival of Lights blowout, I’d be happy to attend. There seems to be little chance of that happening as Hanukkah kicks off tonight at sundown and I have heard nary a peep from any of my friends.

So Christmas it is, if only by default.

Don’t worry. I won’t be spending December 25th sitting in front of a TV dinner with a tear running down my cheek. My friends Alex and Gillian have graciously invited me to their home.

They’re not religious in the least but do prefer some level of respect for Yuletide traditions. I will make a concerted effort to comport myself accordingly. This means refraining from raunchy parodies of Christmas carols or jokes about the Wise Men fondling the baby Jesus until all in attendance are roaring drunk.

That ought to take about an hour. Piece of cake.