{"id":539,"date":"2010-03-03T07:26:23","date_gmt":"2010-03-03T15:26:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/poisonspur.com\/?p=539"},"modified":"2015-03-30T17:45:14","modified_gmt":"2015-03-31T00:45:14","slug":"im-pouting","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/poisonspur.com\/?p=539","title":{"rendered":"I&#8217;m Pouting"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>A couple of weeks ago, I started a my first Facebook group.\u00a0 It was called <a href=\"http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/profile.php?v=info&amp;edit_info=all#%21\/group.php?gid=335576395451\">I Bet I Can Find 14 People Who Like To Watch Old People Eat<\/a>.\u00a0 I thought it would go viral and millions of people would join.\u00a0 I would find fame and fortune, quit my day job, and dedicate my life to hookers and blow.<\/p>\n<p>Alas, that didn&#8217;t happen.\u00a0 With a paltry nine members, the group did not even live up to its eponymous promise.\u00a0 I spent some time trying to explain its lack of popularity.\u00a0 I disqualified the explanation that the idea wasn&#8217;t all that funny to begin with on the grounds that it was hurtful to my ego.\u00a0 That left me only one target for my blame.<\/p>\n<p>Haiku purists.<\/p>\n<p>The haiku I posted to the group had the proper number of syllables per line (without fudging by stuttering!) but lacked a seasonal reference.\u00a0 I would have done better by writing something like:<\/p>\n<p><i>Winter of their lives<br \/>\nUnchewables spat back out<br \/>\nFucking disgusting<\/i><\/p>\n<p>Live and learn, I suppose.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A couple of weeks ago, I started a my first Facebook group.\u00a0 It was called I Bet I Can Find 14 People Who Like To Watch Old People Eat.\u00a0 I thought it would go viral and millions of people would join.\u00a0 I would find fame and fortune, quit my day job, and dedicate my life &hellip; <a href=\"http:\/\/poisonspur.com\/?p=539\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">I&#8217;m Pouting<\/span> <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"sfsi_plus_gutenberg_text_before_share":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_show_text_before_share":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_icon_type":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_icon_alignemt":"","sfsi_plus_gutenburg_max_per_row":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[5,1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/poisonspur.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/539"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/poisonspur.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/poisonspur.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/poisonspur.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/poisonspur.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=539"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/poisonspur.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/539\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":540,"href":"http:\/\/poisonspur.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/539\/revisions\/540"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/poisonspur.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=539"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/poisonspur.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=539"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/poisonspur.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=539"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}