I don’t like it when pandas die. I know this may not be a popular position, but I have never been one to shy away from the tough issues. Several weeks back I read an article about a panda who was released back into the wild, and died shortly thereafter. I wrote song lyrics about how this tragedy affected me on a deeply personal level. I would like to share these words with you now so that you too will see how important it is for cute animals to survive. Enjoy.<\/p>\n
I just polished off another cold beer
\nI get in my car and I put it in gear
\nPlowing through pedestrians, I feel quite ecstatic
\nGot my hand on the stick though I drive an automatic<\/p>\n
Get drunk, beat off, and kill
\nBy Jove, I think I will
\nI’m just that kind of guy
\nBut dead pandas always make me cry<\/p>\n
Take albino from the bar to the tanning salon
\nI lock her in the booth and turn the power on
\nSome onanistic lovin’ as I’m laughing at her plight
\nShe is not the only one who is bubbling white<\/p>\n
Get drunk, beat off, and kill
\nYour holy water’s swill
\nI answer Satan’s call
\nBut dead pandas always make me bawl<\/p>\n
Chugging down a 40 in the pediatric ward
\nIf a machine saves lives then I’m pulling out its cord
\nAnd if you haven’t guessed, it’s not just happenstance
\nThat I’m doing all this with my hand down my pants<\/p>\n
Get drunk, beat off, and kill
\nI’ll never get my fill
\nI am the one you scorn
\nBut dead pandas always make me mourn
\nGet drunk, beat off, and kill
\nIndulge me this one thrill
\nForgive my homicide
\nFor dead pandas show my tender side
\nThey do!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I don’t like it when pandas die. I know this may not be a popular position, but I have never been one to shy away from the tough issues. Several weeks back I read an article about a panda who was released back into the wild, and died shortly thereafter. I wrote song lyrics about … Continue reading Going out on a Limb<\/span>